That’s the first line that I wrote in my journal on January 16th when this post was already late, but I was really struggling with what I wanted to say. It’s fascinating that this is the title of this piece as today, I was just talking to a teacher about what success looks like for different students given their particular challenges.
School is not the only part of life and yet it is an all encompasses that of a young person and their family for 18-22 years. Many students I work with tell me that they get their homework done when they are in the mood and or when they “have time.” I get it. What’s hard for me: is I want every lesson with a student, every blog post, every creative project I do to feel light and creative and that it’s coming from the depth of my soul.
Even though I know (I write about these things because I have the same issues) it takes routine I want to only write when I have inspiration or when the mood hits me.So I have to find a work around, structures that will allow me to activate the mood to do the things I don’t want to do and supportive accountability to help me get those things done. I have learned that activities like exercise, coffee, sitting (without my phone) on the couch with a hot beverage, listening to music and reading are all ways that I can activate the “mood” I want to be in to do a creative task.
In order to get into a routine it is recommended that one do the task that they are trying to accomplish (math problems, essay writing, etc) at the same time every day. I will tell you personally, that this doesn’t work for me when it comes to tasks that require me to sit.
First, my schedule doesn’t allow me to right now to sit and write at the same time every day. Second, even at times when my schedule did allow for that, I found myself rebelling against the fixed times that I set for myself. It is much better for me to make sure that I exercise first thing in the morning (more or less), make a short list of things I want to accomplish that day and check them off as I get them done.
I also have learned to be satisfied with imperfection. I know that any post or any project that I hand in can always use revising, but at some point I have to click the “submit” button. The comments I receive is feedback for me on what I can improve on next time. I know that the story of “perfection” is one that keeps me and many of my students in a cycle of procrastination. For students who become hyperfocused on an assignment or who have perfectionist tendencies I often recommend that they look at the requirements of the assignment and only fulfill the requirements and then get feedback from the teacher.. I also suggest that they set a timer and only work on the assignment for the prescribed amount of time on the timer.
Then, if they have time, to go back and add details to their heart’s desires. Perfectionistic students are often praised for their thoroughness and in depth analysis, but what often times gets ignored is the stress and anxiety that level of attention to detail can cause which often leads to burn out.
Lastly, I’ll say this: there are some tasks (or perhaps folks who need this for everything) that I work better with in a Managerial style and some in which I need more of a Creative Style . I tend to like doing chores in a managerial style and like to have time and space when it comes to sit down creative open ended tasks. However, I have also trained myself (yes! It is possible) to switch between both styles depending on the time I have and how quickly I need to get something done.
I’ll give an example: I have dedicated myself to eating in and healthier. I came home on Tuesday and had forty minutes before my next client and then I had an event right after that.I knew that I was going to be tired, but also knew that I would be happier (and more energized) if I spent that 40 minutes making food than if I sat on the couch. That, for me, would not have been the time to sit and write a post because I needed an activity that would first soothe my nervous system. And so, I choose instead to write this post on a Saturday morning (after coffee, a bike ride and some sitting on the couch with hot chocolate) when I have the time and space to do so.
Are there tasks for you that work better on a creative or managerial style? Here’s a challenge: if you think you work better in one style, try the other on for size: this stretches us slightly out of our comfort zone and teaches some cognitive flexibility. I’ll do the same and try writing when I have shorter bits of time. If you want to dig in more about sticking to a routine watch my video here.
Need some help staying on task? Curious about coaching? Schedule your complimentary Destressify Session Here.
Wishing you a lovely week!
Warmly,
Sarah Weidman
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